my best friend (smoking hot chick) sent me an e-mail tonite, came to my show on sat (i have an acoustic top 40 duo) she has a great sense of humor, and I told her to take it light heartedly.....I said what we all wanna say when we get advice from someone in the crowd who just has no clue...please enjoy.... she wrote:

hey steve,

good to see you sat night! I'm really glad you got to meet dave. too bad you didn't have a chance to talk to him much. I know you will like him alot. he is awesome! let me know where you'll be singing in the future.... also one note, i don't know if you normally take that long to adjust your sound setting but when you first started signing you had your back turned away from the audiance for a really long time. it was odd. everyone kept asking me what you were doing. i figured you were adjusting the sound. to be honest though I didn't hear any difference so maybe just skip the adjusting next time and face forward so people can get into your songs.

ok hope the job is going good today?

Bonnie :):):



And I wrote:

Thats sooo cute, the average real band, like a 4 piece. usally take over an hour before playing the first song for real, because of what they call a "sound check" that's when you have to turn about 10-15 knobs, approx 5 or ten times or even more each piece and listen to every sound comming out of the speaker so you can get the right levels, because every room is different, size, shape, height, lenghth, sometimes rug, sometimes tile, sometimes wood, sometimes no walls, sometimes outside, sometimes plazma tv's which some times cause a buzz in my guitarists $2100 dollar guitar, which is a ...Taylor guitar, which is made out of a"KOA" ,an extinct wood from Hawaii, this guitar has the "ES" system which has 3 electronic pickups (which are what take the sound of the guitar and send it to the speakers for people to hear) most guitars have 1 pickup in the body(fat part of the guitar) his has two in there and one in the neck (skinny part of guitar) so it's extra sesitive, so like I said sometimes it busses if there's intrference comming from the power source (the outlet in the wall). Once I check the sound levels, while singing and walking from the front, where the music is, to the back where the "mixer" is (thats the thing that has all the knobbs and stuff...) I do this while singing from to song to song, watching the crowd before I decide to tell my guitarist... what the next song is going to be, I usally give him a 5 second warnings when I make my decision, then ....the son of a gun skips to the next song without missing a beat and your night has not had the music stop even for one second, as I'm trying my best to get it done in under 2 or 3 songs... I do a solid job as to not make any high pitch feedback (or low end...theres two kinds of feedback....maybe more..). I try to make the slightest adjusts as to not make dramatic changes, so that it appears to the below average ear, not much has changed, but to the trained ear and the owner who is standing 10 feet away from me, for the first time as I've never even met him before, in fact he fired his manager (who booked us) a few weeks before and decided to honor the gig when we showed up. What I really want that guy to notice about my sound??? nothing, I want him to think we sound better than the last guys they had there......and not have a clue why (but I'll know........) ok now I can sit down and begin my night of working for the town drunks............Hmmmm..... maybe a lil more to this band thing then a few guys with a guitar........ oh ya forgot, this gig it took a few minutes longer,cause some prick stole my Lexicon MPX 500 vocal processor (which controls every sound coming out of the speaker) loading out of my last gig, cost me $300 to replace it, and a two hour drive to buy it before my gig, then another 45 minutes to go through some settings at my cousins house cause he's like a "real sound guy"..so I could screw home and get ready for my gig. Sorry I couldn't get that to ya sooner......

Dude, get some fresh air...

when ya turn on your amp, and hopefully the light goe's on

I'd burn down her house

ya maybe you didnt get it,my sound check took two songs, and she was telling ma I should just turn on the system and not turn my back to the crowd, the whole thing took maybe 6-7 minutes....that was a tounge and cheek for giggin musicians that get suggestions like that all the time.......wow you gotta lighten up.......

choke the bitch

Milhouse's band is...well, Milhouse.

if you go, mention anything or even so much as look at me while i am channeling my artistc energy and i will choke the nearest bitch i can find.

respect art.

fkn phillistines

milhouse is the ultimate clearer of rooms

the end all be all of disappointing club-owners

the wettest of blankets

whatever the approopriate volume is for the room- milhouse is either four times that or one quarter that

a bartender's worst nightmare

But I wiil say milhouse never gets feedback during soundcheck

unless patrons in the place are talking or eating

then there's feedback out the ass

hurry up and finish your food and drinks motherf*ckers

ya I got that millhouse, I'm not "that guy" and I'm not sure theres a whole lot of artistic stuff at my gigs, I sing other peoples songs to pay my rent........but thats a whole other thread...........

;)

Scott all kidding aside, you are seriously one weird looking motherf*cker

what's up with that?

Milhouse is to talent what Swanee is to upper body strength

that is awsome "that guy" had no idea....dont ever post here anymore, used to back in the day when no one knew who band fand was, and everyone wanted a piece of him..........

Not UGLY per se, just weird looking, in the sense like looking at his face makes you feel like you stood up too fast or maybe you had some bad fish

cote sorry your thread got so f*cked up


Milhouse is to Sanee what Nell from Gimme a Break is to Florida from Good Times

SANCEE

Chippa is like sanford and son after fred left and grady took over.

Like Rascal Flatts got pushed out of the space shuttle but only for a couple seconds

two for $2.00

life is still good

Plus I heard on the radio this morning that b/c of the fluctuating petroleum market and global warming you be given the option of having you fishwishes made two ways, gloved or ungloved, but for gloved you'll be paying more.

Can I have a McDLT with extra botchulism please?

..and a large orange drink.

Stretch Armstrong!!!

Plasticman could kick strech armstrongs ass, AND he had a better sense of humour.

and since when did Plastic stretch?

since 1978

I miss colorforms

that was like drawing and coloring but you didn't have to do sh*t

Dane Cook as the Waffler, now this guy is a Superhero

youtube.com/watch?v=bkn0l2etf...

Ya know what? i re thought this whole thing. cote's post???

i'm sick of that attitude. i'm glad you brought it up cote.

Too-mther-fkin-oodles to that bitch.

i'm out.

Didn't you hate it when using a etch-a-sketch and you doing this dramatic skyscraper scene and you make one wrong turn and f' it up?

Ever play Bang Bang Orangutang?

Great - we get it. You find me odd-looking.
Does this mean the date is off...?

You're quite a nice looking couple Scott but with the white shirt, black vest and bucolic setting I'm just dying to Photoshop on a Amish beard.

Perfection

That game is awesome because of the tension and pressure- same with Operation- I like to yell when people are trying to take out the f*cking rubber band

Scott, I've dated people waaaaay weirder lokingthan you, don't worry-

I'm just pointing out that your physical appearance is very awkward

like if you took that tallest guy in the world and shrunk him to five feet tall and kept the proportions exactly the same but also sandblasted his face and then waxed it

well of course my horse

you shrink him and then blow him back up

When he sits behind the kit and I stand next to him we're the same height.

That's because your legs are one-quarter the size of a regular persons

I know one time I told one of MY musician friends to look both ways before crossing the street, yanno,to do him a favor and all, and he informed me, because apparently I don't have a clue, that he's a musician, and he goes out for walks with his sony walkman on and he was trying to learn a new song. now it takes him an hour alone just to figure out what key it's in, and then he has to be careful not to strain his thumb with all the rewinding and stuff so he can get back to the beginning so he gets the intro just right, and he likes to walk around listening to it and it f*cks him up if his left foot doesn't land on the four count and he has to rewind it again, start over, remind himself what key it's in, keep in mind what foot he's putting down when, and picture himself on stage with the lights and the hot chicks in front of him, only then can he let his musician intelligence wash over him in a way that he is then one with the song. It's not easy, he tells me, but that is just a small slice of what he has to go thru to learn one goddamn song for ME, his fan, and all I am concerned about is how he has his back turned towards oncoming traffic. I am clueless, but I know I'm lucky I have him to set me straight.

My legs are as wide as they are long but they're no match for my barrel chest.

Not a lot, apparently.

If you knew Toodles like I know Toodles
Oh, Oh, Oh, what a gal
There's no salutation, that we could make fun
Oh, Oh, holy Moses, what a burp gun

Stainless Steel, or Titanium Scissors?

cote sorry your thread got so hijacked

Remember when you ran down that pedestrian with your car back in 98?

Sorry about this

dude she's a rage-a-holic

swanee people give you "constructive criticism" because you suck

Chippa before you say that you simply have to see how I arranged my Hummel collection on my desk.

Cote man I was just messin' with ya. I have bigger things to get fired up about. I have a four year old who's way smarter than me and I use most of my brain power to stay a step ahead of her.

Well yeah, there's that.

OH and by the way, they are japanese steel, Carl Ayotte. And they are called shears, not scissors. Stick to what you know, willya?

I am not an an-nee-mahl...!

Life!... is full of surprises. Consider the fate of this creature's poor mother, struck down in the fourth month of her maternal condition by an elephant, a wild elephant. Struck down!... on an uncharted African isle. The result is plain to see... Ladies and gentlemen... The terrible... Elephant... Man...

"This next song is straight from the '70s by a little band known as E.L.O. - or Electric Light Orchestra... this is called... Turn to Stone... TWO ... THREE ... FOUR ..."

...when they're all f*cked up on pills and coke

Every family has an Uncle like you Scott.

(:-O

Uncle Pervy, you know...has the kids do duckwalk races in the driveway while he lays down and makes them walk over him like a speedbump.

...and on-topic...

Very rare that we "soundcheck" per-se. But we're a rinky-dink trio and have very little to check. I just mix as we go.

Otherwise know as "Milhouse Disease"

Don't you get to the club way before they open to set up? Wouldn't it make sense to sound check then? Isn't that how it's done? Then you make a few tweaks during the first song?

A lot of us play rooms that do more than showcase bands... they are also restaurants.

MOST places that *I* have played... we're loading-in and setting-up while people are eating dinner. They don't want you up there making noise while paying customers are still trying to eat their Duck Fritters and Pecan Sandies.

They want you to load-in, setup and shutup until just before you play. Generally, I'll do a line-check of everything (3-minutes, tops) about 10-15 before we go on... then we go out back and hang for a few before we hit. Then, we just go for it and mix on-the-fly.

My HiHat work is a little heavy-handed at times.

Hit "refresh" more often - it's been changed since this morning. :)

*YAWN*...TOODLES

Since Fair Warning dropped off the face of the earth I had to go get me a brand new Oakland scarf right here

profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...

..and these fellers are playing in my backyard in a little place called Johnny's Pizzeria this Friday night, see ya there bitches!